I love mom bloggers.
They make me laugh, make me cry, make me feel normal when they write about things I only think about! One thing that amazes me is how they find time. I'm a mom to just a one child, with a husband and a small house and I can't find the time to think about issues let alone write about them. I'm always in amazement of how eloquent, impactful and soulful mom bloggers can be. They tackle topics that are near and dear to my heart. They are passionate, respectful (most of the time!) and can explain things in my language. I always feel like I have a lingering smell of poop on me, I'm only convincing when I yell, and the topics I care about only pertain to me and very few other people in my life!
I'm going to try harder to write more. To research more and write about what I care about. I want to write freely, purposefully and happily! The key is to find the time, topics, and once and for all finding out where that smell of poop is coming from!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Colds, Drugs, and Rock 'N Roll
I used to take drugs when I stubbed my toe. I would take cold meds every 3 hours when I was sick with the flu. I had a pill for everything. Since getting pregnant, having T, breastfeeding, and raising this precious human being I am no longer the pill addict I once was. So since T has had a cold/double ear infection/eye infection/hives I have struggled with the notion of medication. I hate giving her jarred baby food, how can I justify pumping her full of antibiotics and cortisone cremes?
The first round of antibiotics I agreed with completely. I saw her ears, they sucked! Within a day she was looking and feeling much better and the prescription was only for 5 days. We chose not to use the hydro cortisone on her hives or rashes. We struggled with this but we decided to use really good lotion instead. When getting her ears rechecked, the ped put her on a preventative 20 day dose of amox. due to a build up of fluid in her ears. The only reason I could use to justify this round of drugs was the loss of hearing that was taking place in her ears due to the fluid. But I struggled. As if on cue, she broke out in a full body rash and the ped, once again, said to use the steroid creme to keep her from itching. I hate this. I hate all the drugs going into her system.
So what's a mom to do? I've ransacked every book, website and picked all the brains of my granola friends. I don't want to keep giving her medication that she is obviously reacting to, but I know that she needs it. D has a massive problem with it as well. The only conclusion we came to is that, while T is pure and new, the germs and toxins around her are not. And we need to be able to battle the illnesses of this world, for her sake. It's not a fun call. It's not an easy decision. Thinking I could be hurting her in any way is hard to stomach, but I know it's what we have to do.
On a happier note, T is now using everything as a drum and dancing as she pounds out the beats! Even being sick and having rashes, she still bobs her head, rocks back and fourth and squeals with delight at all things rock 'n' roll!
The first round of antibiotics I agreed with completely. I saw her ears, they sucked! Within a day she was looking and feeling much better and the prescription was only for 5 days. We chose not to use the hydro cortisone on her hives or rashes. We struggled with this but we decided to use really good lotion instead. When getting her ears rechecked, the ped put her on a preventative 20 day dose of amox. due to a build up of fluid in her ears. The only reason I could use to justify this round of drugs was the loss of hearing that was taking place in her ears due to the fluid. But I struggled. As if on cue, she broke out in a full body rash and the ped, once again, said to use the steroid creme to keep her from itching. I hate this. I hate all the drugs going into her system.
So what's a mom to do? I've ransacked every book, website and picked all the brains of my granola friends. I don't want to keep giving her medication that she is obviously reacting to, but I know that she needs it. D has a massive problem with it as well. The only conclusion we came to is that, while T is pure and new, the germs and toxins around her are not. And we need to be able to battle the illnesses of this world, for her sake. It's not a fun call. It's not an easy decision. Thinking I could be hurting her in any way is hard to stomach, but I know it's what we have to do.
On a happier note, T is now using everything as a drum and dancing as she pounds out the beats! Even being sick and having rashes, she still bobs her head, rocks back and fourth and squeals with delight at all things rock 'n' roll!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
My letters to T
When I first got pregnant I started a journal to my baby. I wanted it to know that it was incredibly loved and adored. I wanted my baby to know what my pregnancy was like. Things like what I was feeling, my anxiety and my sheer joy. When I found out T was a girl, I was ecstatic. I wrote for at least 5 pages on my sheer excitement of having the honor of raising a girl. I wrote what I felt. I didn't care about spelling, grammar or subject, I just wrote my heart.
I like to go back and read these journals. I can go back to the exact moment I wrote them. I can feel exactly what I felt. Most of them are about love. There is adoration spewing over every page. There are times when I will remember the light that shot through my soul when I first saw her. Or the time she slept on my chest as I watched the first snowfall after she was born. I listened to her soft breaths for hours. It's a good reminder of how far we have come.
My plan for these journals are slowly changing. I now write about what I want her to know. Things like self esteem, how to love herself and the importance of education. I've recently started writing about my fear of letting her down as a mom. I love T so much. More than I ever thought I could love anything. It's so important for her to know that. I hope my letters to her will always be a perfect reminder.
I like to go back and read these journals. I can go back to the exact moment I wrote them. I can feel exactly what I felt. Most of them are about love. There is adoration spewing over every page. There are times when I will remember the light that shot through my soul when I first saw her. Or the time she slept on my chest as I watched the first snowfall after she was born. I listened to her soft breaths for hours. It's a good reminder of how far we have come.
My plan for these journals are slowly changing. I now write about what I want her to know. Things like self esteem, how to love herself and the importance of education. I've recently started writing about my fear of letting her down as a mom. I love T so much. More than I ever thought I could love anything. It's so important for her to know that. I hope my letters to her will always be a perfect reminder.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Being a parent can be so frustrating. It can be so amazing, so beautiful and rewarding. Then there are nights like tonight where I feel like an epic failure.
T has never been on a schedule. Ever. She is an easy going baby. But no matter what we have done, she just hasn't fallen into a schedule. When talking to other moms, I hear a lot of 'she shouldn't sleep with you. You shouldn't breast feed at night. She knows shes in bed with you and that's why she wont sleep.' (she would be awake in a crib. She doesn't know sleeping in bed with us is 'wrong' shes a baby). It's hard because we have tried everything, and nothing has worked.
Tonight, T fell asleep nursing at 8. Unfortunately she woke up at 9. We don't let her cry it out. So we got up with her. Well, D got up with her. I cried. So frustrated with the fact that I have my, well our, first day of work tomorrow at 8 am and the chances of her falling asleep before 2am is highly unlikely. And I'm tired. And D is going to see a movie and I'm just.... sad. Sad because this isn't how I pictured it. I thought I would get her in a routine. I thought she would sleep. I thought she would love a schedule as much as I do. But it just isn't happening.
I know this feeling isn't new to parents. I know I'm not alone. It just feels like it right now. Oh well. Time to suck it up, go play with Tilly and just drink obscene amounts of coffee tomorrow.
T has never been on a schedule. Ever. She is an easy going baby. But no matter what we have done, she just hasn't fallen into a schedule. When talking to other moms, I hear a lot of 'she shouldn't sleep with you. You shouldn't breast feed at night. She knows shes in bed with you and that's why she wont sleep.' (she would be awake in a crib. She doesn't know sleeping in bed with us is 'wrong' shes a baby). It's hard because we have tried everything, and nothing has worked.
Tonight, T fell asleep nursing at 8. Unfortunately she woke up at 9. We don't let her cry it out. So we got up with her. Well, D got up with her. I cried. So frustrated with the fact that I have my, well our, first day of work tomorrow at 8 am and the chances of her falling asleep before 2am is highly unlikely. And I'm tired. And D is going to see a movie and I'm just.... sad. Sad because this isn't how I pictured it. I thought I would get her in a routine. I thought she would sleep. I thought she would love a schedule as much as I do. But it just isn't happening.
I know this feeling isn't new to parents. I know I'm not alone. It just feels like it right now. Oh well. Time to suck it up, go play with Tilly and just drink obscene amounts of coffee tomorrow.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
My head. My gut. The Peds.
When the three most important aspects collide when you're child is sick.....
Head: It's been 4 days now. She doesn't have a fever but we should take her in. Her cough and runny nose is getting worse. Ok apt at 3.
Gut: She is so sick, we should just go to the doc now. Honestly don't even bother calling. Ok the apt. is at 3. We can wait.
Ped: She has a virus. The rash on her foot isn't HFMD, those bumps look more like blisters. Call if she gets worse.
Head: Ok it's only been a day but I know she is getting worse. Her cough is much worse and she has been screaming for an hour. I think we need to call.
Gut: GET HER THE HELL TO THE DOC! She's screaming and you can't get her to calm down, no bath, no nursing, just leave.
Ped: It's 7, we close at 8 bring her in.
Head: We're in the car on the way and she just fell sound asleep. Now I have no idea what to do. D thinks we should go home, she must have needed to sleep. Calling now to say we are going home and will call if she gets worse.
Gut: The ped is going to be pissed. You should just go. She needs a doc. She isn't getting better. At least we know if something has changed she seems really sick.
Ped: (annoyed) We close at 8.
Head: It's 9, Her right leg is full of blisters. This has to be HFMD. Must google all that has to do with hand foot and mouth disease and the symptoms and treatments. Call the doc.
Gut: She is so sick. She can barely breath and these don't look like blisters per say and they are not on her hands and feet. Call the ped. She needs to be seen right away.
Ped: Nurse: The ped won't speak to you because you chose not to come in at 7, there is nothing we can do for HFMD. I'm very sorry but please come in tomorrow if she is not better.
Head: If there is anything wrong with my daughter I will sue you. I will lawyer up faster than a Tiger Woods mistress and get your ass fired.
Gut: I don't have a ped. Now I'm crying. She is so sick. The doc hates me so much she won't even see my sick child. How horrible of a mom am I that screwed up my relationship with my babies doctor when she's sick. This is horrible. I'm humiliated.
Head: Time to find a new Ped. Asking around. I will have a ped by the end of the night.
Gut: We have put up with this for too long. It's time we need find a new doc. One that agrees with our style of parenting, or at least doesn't judge us for it. We need to feel like it's ok to co-sleep, breastfeed, and making our own decisions for our daughter. But it IS their job to treat her when she is honesty very ill. I have been quiet for too long. To not talk to the mother of a sick 9 month old, because you are annoyed is beyond ridiculous. I'll do all the calling, I'll interview every new doctor. But she deserves someone who will talk to her mother at 9pm when she is sick.
Head: 11 moms we know use this clinic. The docs come highly recommended. She doesn't have a fever. We shouldn't take her. I guess her rash is worse.
Gut: This guy better be good. The rash is worse. She is coughing more. I'm terrified. She is so sick. What if he sucks. What if she is really REALLY sick. I shouldn't have screwed up with the last doc. She doesn't have a fever but I know she's sick. D doesn't think we should take her in, but I know we should. I'm glad we are taking her in. She needs to see a doc even though it's only been one day since we say the last doctor, I know somethings up.
New Doc: Double ear infection, eye infection, hives and a virus.
I'm a mom. I have a gut. It's time to listen to it more!
Head: It's been 4 days now. She doesn't have a fever but we should take her in. Her cough and runny nose is getting worse. Ok apt at 3.
Gut: She is so sick, we should just go to the doc now. Honestly don't even bother calling. Ok the apt. is at 3. We can wait.
Ped: She has a virus. The rash on her foot isn't HFMD, those bumps look more like blisters. Call if she gets worse.
Head: Ok it's only been a day but I know she is getting worse. Her cough is much worse and she has been screaming for an hour. I think we need to call.
Gut: GET HER THE HELL TO THE DOC! She's screaming and you can't get her to calm down, no bath, no nursing, just leave.
Ped: It's 7, we close at 8 bring her in.
Head: We're in the car on the way and she just fell sound asleep. Now I have no idea what to do. D thinks we should go home, she must have needed to sleep. Calling now to say we are going home and will call if she gets worse.
Gut: The ped is going to be pissed. You should just go. She needs a doc. She isn't getting better. At least we know if something has changed she seems really sick.
Ped: (annoyed) We close at 8.
Head: It's 9, Her right leg is full of blisters. This has to be HFMD. Must google all that has to do with hand foot and mouth disease and the symptoms and treatments. Call the doc.
Gut: She is so sick. She can barely breath and these don't look like blisters per say and they are not on her hands and feet. Call the ped. She needs to be seen right away.
Ped: Nurse: The ped won't speak to you because you chose not to come in at 7, there is nothing we can do for HFMD. I'm very sorry but please come in tomorrow if she is not better.
Head: If there is anything wrong with my daughter I will sue you. I will lawyer up faster than a Tiger Woods mistress and get your ass fired.
Gut: I don't have a ped. Now I'm crying. She is so sick. The doc hates me so much she won't even see my sick child. How horrible of a mom am I that screwed up my relationship with my babies doctor when she's sick. This is horrible. I'm humiliated.
Head: Time to find a new Ped. Asking around. I will have a ped by the end of the night.
Gut: We have put up with this for too long. It's time we need find a new doc. One that agrees with our style of parenting, or at least doesn't judge us for it. We need to feel like it's ok to co-sleep, breastfeed, and making our own decisions for our daughter. But it IS their job to treat her when she is honesty very ill. I have been quiet for too long. To not talk to the mother of a sick 9 month old, because you are annoyed is beyond ridiculous. I'll do all the calling, I'll interview every new doctor. But she deserves someone who will talk to her mother at 9pm when she is sick.
Head: 11 moms we know use this clinic. The docs come highly recommended. She doesn't have a fever. We shouldn't take her. I guess her rash is worse.
Gut: This guy better be good. The rash is worse. She is coughing more. I'm terrified. She is so sick. What if he sucks. What if she is really REALLY sick. I shouldn't have screwed up with the last doc. She doesn't have a fever but I know she's sick. D doesn't think we should take her in, but I know we should. I'm glad we are taking her in. She needs to see a doc even though it's only been one day since we say the last doctor, I know somethings up.
New Doc: Double ear infection, eye infection, hives and a virus.
I'm a mom. I have a gut. It's time to listen to it more!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
I have an addiction....
The first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem. So here goes....
My name is M and I am sugar addict. If there is chocolate (even the horrible dairy free soy free kind), muffins, cakes, brownies or cookies anywhere near my house, I will eat them. And not just one. I have been known to eat an entire loaf of banana bread in one sitting. When I was pregnant I ate my weight in oreos. I'm not kidding! I love it all. I can make it all, bake it all even on a restricted diet.
This realization came to be when I found 10 ripe bananas in my kitchen. I delighted in the fact that I would be able to make at least 2 loaves of bread, maybe some muffins and some yummy cookies. And then I stopped myself. I thought about the last time I made banana bread and the 2 day migraine that ensued. I had convinced myself that because it was a vegan recipe that it was somehow healthy for me. But even dairy free soy free butter is laden with calories. There might not be eggs but there was a cup of beautifully white sugar! But perhaps my worst offense was the actual act of sticking my head in the bowl to lick it clean.
I have been dairy/soy free for 3 months now, and this change has changed my bodies chemistry. I can tell. I feel better. I cannot handle sugar anymore. My body cannot tolerate it, I get the shakes, I get headaches and I end up feeling horrid. But it has not stopped me from eating it. Until now. I have made the decision to cut it out. Not all of it, but from now on I will be making the choice to not eat it, use it to make me feel better or bake 3 loaves of banana bread with it.
I'm down 30 lbs and this may be one of my last life changes to really be healthy, to really be happy. I'm excited for this sweet change!
My name is M and I am sugar addict. If there is chocolate (even the horrible dairy free soy free kind), muffins, cakes, brownies or cookies anywhere near my house, I will eat them. And not just one. I have been known to eat an entire loaf of banana bread in one sitting. When I was pregnant I ate my weight in oreos. I'm not kidding! I love it all. I can make it all, bake it all even on a restricted diet.
This realization came to be when I found 10 ripe bananas in my kitchen. I delighted in the fact that I would be able to make at least 2 loaves of bread, maybe some muffins and some yummy cookies. And then I stopped myself. I thought about the last time I made banana bread and the 2 day migraine that ensued. I had convinced myself that because it was a vegan recipe that it was somehow healthy for me. But even dairy free soy free butter is laden with calories. There might not be eggs but there was a cup of beautifully white sugar! But perhaps my worst offense was the actual act of sticking my head in the bowl to lick it clean.
I have been dairy/soy free for 3 months now, and this change has changed my bodies chemistry. I can tell. I feel better. I cannot handle sugar anymore. My body cannot tolerate it, I get the shakes, I get headaches and I end up feeling horrid. But it has not stopped me from eating it. Until now. I have made the decision to cut it out. Not all of it, but from now on I will be making the choice to not eat it, use it to make me feel better or bake 3 loaves of banana bread with it.
I'm down 30 lbs and this may be one of my last life changes to really be healthy, to really be happy. I'm excited for this sweet change!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
For the 1st time in 9 months....
I am home alone. And I don't hate it. And as usual.... that makes me feel guilty.
I love T more than anything. As D was leaving I said to him "If anything happens to her, I will never forgive you." Nice wife I know, but its true. I love T so much she is such a spot of sunshine in my life. Even when she's crabby and out of it, I still love her and I'll even manage to get a few hugs in her moodiness.
Lately I have been feeling really overwhelmed. Tired. Sad for no reason. I have moments of bliss but I'm also really run down. I don't know if it's the sun and heat or the stress of a massive upcoming life change, I just can't seem to recharge anymore. And I really believe it's because I am never by myself. Ever. Except now.
It's hard to turn off and not be a mom. It's hard to just type even when the disaster of a kitchen is looking at you. But I know it's whats best for me. Even these 30 minutes while she's gone will help me feel better. Now if only I had some chocolates.... :)I'm reading Chopra right now and the law of pure potentiality has a silence component that I need to learn. How to just be. Be still. Be quiet. Be silent. I am really starting to believe I might never fully master this. But I will try. Try and remember to breathe. Try to be at peace. Try and relax!
Now time to go find some chocolate!
I love T more than anything. As D was leaving I said to him "If anything happens to her, I will never forgive you." Nice wife I know, but its true. I love T so much she is such a spot of sunshine in my life. Even when she's crabby and out of it, I still love her and I'll even manage to get a few hugs in her moodiness.
Lately I have been feeling really overwhelmed. Tired. Sad for no reason. I have moments of bliss but I'm also really run down. I don't know if it's the sun and heat or the stress of a massive upcoming life change, I just can't seem to recharge anymore. And I really believe it's because I am never by myself. Ever. Except now.
It's hard to turn off and not be a mom. It's hard to just type even when the disaster of a kitchen is looking at you. But I know it's whats best for me. Even these 30 minutes while she's gone will help me feel better. Now if only I had some chocolates.... :)I'm reading Chopra right now and the law of pure potentiality has a silence component that I need to learn. How to just be. Be still. Be quiet. Be silent. I am really starting to believe I might never fully master this. But I will try. Try and remember to breathe. Try to be at peace. Try and relax!
Now time to go find some chocolate!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
No! But really Yes!
"No" is a word I'm not very good at. I have to admit I'm a bit of a glutton. I shop when I'm broke. I eat when I'm on a diet. I would pick 5 hours of reality TV over a documentary any day. If I say "I'm not going to to...." within 15 minutes I'm doing it.
So when faced with the challenge of cutting out a large portion of food from my diet to accommodate T's food allergies, "no" became an hourly occurrence. No diary. No soy. No bread. No chocolate. No fast food. No pizza (that one almost killed me). No chips. No butter. No more eating at parties, or at restaurants. No to almost my entire diet.
I have been dairy/soy free now for 3 months. Besides 2 indiscretions while on vacation, I have learned the art of saying "no" to myself. This transformation has not been easy! In the beginning I would literally throw a tantrum. Both in my head and out my mouth. Like a child, after a while I learned how to control the anger that comes with being told you can't have something. When it happens 15 times a day one learns rather quickly. Now, when I'm really hungry, and dying for chocolate, and a grilled cheese with a slice of supreme pizza on top I have learned to just take a breath and say "No. You can't have it because if you do, you are hurting your daughter." It stops me dead in my tracks every time. Seeing her in pain or finding blood in her diaper is more than my new mom heart can bare. It's like the universe took the most dramatic route it could to teach me self control!
More and more I'm finding it easier to say "no" in other areas as well. I can decline invites easier. I can say "no" to cleaning the kitchen and opting to play peek-a-boo with T instead. I now can actually say "no" to watching TV (my second biggest vice behind food) and read a book instead! I've spent my whole life trying to learn how to live within viable, acceptable life parameters and it took a food allergy to teach me how! But the most beautiful thing about this situation is learning to say yes. Life is becoming more about what I'm saying "yes" to instead of what I'm limiting in my life. Sure "no" comes in handy when I want the entire bag of marshmallows but I'm learning to now focus saying yes to the watermelon!
I'm really hoping that once this diet is over I stick with my new traditions. Not just my new love for almond milk and vegan salads, but I hope to keep the balance of being able to tell myself "no" while keeping the focus on the good choices! (Let's hope the good choice is covered in chocolate!)
So when faced with the challenge of cutting out a large portion of food from my diet to accommodate T's food allergies, "no" became an hourly occurrence. No diary. No soy. No bread. No chocolate. No fast food. No pizza (that one almost killed me). No chips. No butter. No more eating at parties, or at restaurants. No to almost my entire diet.
I have been dairy/soy free now for 3 months. Besides 2 indiscretions while on vacation, I have learned the art of saying "no" to myself. This transformation has not been easy! In the beginning I would literally throw a tantrum. Both in my head and out my mouth. Like a child, after a while I learned how to control the anger that comes with being told you can't have something. When it happens 15 times a day one learns rather quickly. Now, when I'm really hungry, and dying for chocolate, and a grilled cheese with a slice of supreme pizza on top I have learned to just take a breath and say "No. You can't have it because if you do, you are hurting your daughter." It stops me dead in my tracks every time. Seeing her in pain or finding blood in her diaper is more than my new mom heart can bare. It's like the universe took the most dramatic route it could to teach me self control!
More and more I'm finding it easier to say "no" in other areas as well. I can decline invites easier. I can say "no" to cleaning the kitchen and opting to play peek-a-boo with T instead. I now can actually say "no" to watching TV (my second biggest vice behind food) and read a book instead! I've spent my whole life trying to learn how to live within viable, acceptable life parameters and it took a food allergy to teach me how! But the most beautiful thing about this situation is learning to say yes. Life is becoming more about what I'm saying "yes" to instead of what I'm limiting in my life. Sure "no" comes in handy when I want the entire bag of marshmallows but I'm learning to now focus saying yes to the watermelon!
I'm really hoping that once this diet is over I stick with my new traditions. Not just my new love for almond milk and vegan salads, but I hope to keep the balance of being able to tell myself "no" while keeping the focus on the good choices! (Let's hope the good choice is covered in chocolate!)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I'm baaaaaack! With an update!
First I’ll start with the 4x4 goals and I have done surprisingly well!
Being a connected mommy has been hard but the most rewarding think I have done. I can gladly say that I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. T is now a beautiful, smart, funny, laughing, rolling, solids eating, still breast feeding baby girl! She amazes me every day. I fall more and more in love with her every day, it is honestly awesome. I’m not kidding when I say that she is an absolute joy… every single day.
As for being a better wife….. that one is tough. Managing money together is easy because we never have any! However, we now have savings which we have had little of in the past! I listen to NPR at least an hour a day so I have something to talk about, but there is a lot to talk about lately in life so we are actually never out of topics. As for having fun… IT’S HARD! I’m wiped at the end of my day and so is D for that matter. The stress levels have been upped in our family recently so fun is a fluid concept between D and I. However, we LOVE our weekends with T. Art museums, the Zoo, malls, the pool, you name it we do it as a family and that give us the most amazing sense of joy and calm in our world full of chaos.
Becoming a rockstar has been a BLAST! I did graduate in May. The best moment was walking across the stage, knowing that T was watching. I know she won’t remember, but long before she was even a glimmer in my eye, I was in school for her. And now I’m done and when the time is right, I will go back to work as a rockstar social worker! I actually have lost 15lbs not because of a diet for me, but because of one for T. At 6 months T was diagnosed with the D protein allergy meaning no dairy, soy whey or casein for mom! Since soy is literally in everything, I dropped the weight rather quickly, but that’s for another blog! I never did get those 3 nights to study with my camera, but I have been working really hard to learn. I have over 3500 pictures of T. Nough said! As for reading more, I read A LOT of parenting books! A LOT of parenting books.
On the domestic goddess front I’m 2 and 2. I have actually meal planned every meal for months now! I do cook a new meal once a week if not more. However keeping a house organized is no longer on my to do list because it’s NOT gonna happen! Most days, at some point, it looks like Babies R Us puked in my living room! And stock piling isn’t on my mind because it isn’t winter anymore.
Now that I’m not in school and T is on a (somewhat!) schedule I have more time. Who needs to clean and do laundry when there are blogs to write!
Being a connected mommy has been hard but the most rewarding think I have done. I can gladly say that I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. T is now a beautiful, smart, funny, laughing, rolling, solids eating, still breast feeding baby girl! She amazes me every day. I fall more and more in love with her every day, it is honestly awesome. I’m not kidding when I say that she is an absolute joy… every single day.
As for being a better wife….. that one is tough. Managing money together is easy because we never have any! However, we now have savings which we have had little of in the past! I listen to NPR at least an hour a day so I have something to talk about, but there is a lot to talk about lately in life so we are actually never out of topics. As for having fun… IT’S HARD! I’m wiped at the end of my day and so is D for that matter. The stress levels have been upped in our family recently so fun is a fluid concept between D and I. However, we LOVE our weekends with T. Art museums, the Zoo, malls, the pool, you name it we do it as a family and that give us the most amazing sense of joy and calm in our world full of chaos.
Becoming a rockstar has been a BLAST! I did graduate in May. The best moment was walking across the stage, knowing that T was watching. I know she won’t remember, but long before she was even a glimmer in my eye, I was in school for her. And now I’m done and when the time is right, I will go back to work as a rockstar social worker! I actually have lost 15lbs not because of a diet for me, but because of one for T. At 6 months T was diagnosed with the D protein allergy meaning no dairy, soy whey or casein for mom! Since soy is literally in everything, I dropped the weight rather quickly, but that’s for another blog! I never did get those 3 nights to study with my camera, but I have been working really hard to learn. I have over 3500 pictures of T. Nough said! As for reading more, I read A LOT of parenting books! A LOT of parenting books.
On the domestic goddess front I’m 2 and 2. I have actually meal planned every meal for months now! I do cook a new meal once a week if not more. However keeping a house organized is no longer on my to do list because it’s NOT gonna happen! Most days, at some point, it looks like Babies R Us puked in my living room! And stock piling isn’t on my mind because it isn’t winter anymore.
Now that I’m not in school and T is on a (somewhat!) schedule I have more time. Who needs to clean and do laundry when there are blogs to write!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Being Present
I'm a planner. I plan every meal, everyday. I plan weekends. I plan vacations and mini getaways. I plan how to teach my daughter to read. What school she will go to, how to help her get over her first broken heart. I plan charity events big and small I plan. In my life there is always a daily to do list. There is always people to call laundry to do and e-mails to catch up on. All that coupled with maintaining a marriage, getting A's in school and trying to be a good mom is a recipe for 'perfection' disaster. Things will fall through the cracks.
Today I had a lot to do. The kitchen was dirty, laundry was crawling to the washer I needed to write a paper, the to do list was mounting. T was having a rough day. I'm pretty sure she is teething and headed for a growth spurt. She wanted to be nowhere but in my arms sleeping. I started to get frustrated when I looked down at my sleeping baby and stopped. I just stopped. She is still so small in my arms. Her little chest was rising and falling rhythmically. Beautifully. Her prefect skin falling into dimples when she smiled in her sleep. For 4 hours I watched T as she slept. I made the decision to be present with her a long time ago but in those moments today I couldn't have loved her more.
I know I am going to blink and T will be 5. I'll turn my head and she'll be 17. Before I know it, I will be dancing at her wedding. These times of my baby sleeping in my arms are just fleeting moments. They will not last forever. As much as it makes me sad (and brings tears to my eyes) I know that I have these moments for now. And I plan to enjoy every single one of them.
Song for a Fifth Child.
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
Today I had a lot to do. The kitchen was dirty, laundry was crawling to the washer I needed to write a paper, the to do list was mounting. T was having a rough day. I'm pretty sure she is teething and headed for a growth spurt. She wanted to be nowhere but in my arms sleeping. I started to get frustrated when I looked down at my sleeping baby and stopped. I just stopped. She is still so small in my arms. Her little chest was rising and falling rhythmically. Beautifully. Her prefect skin falling into dimples when she smiled in her sleep. For 4 hours I watched T as she slept. I made the decision to be present with her a long time ago but in those moments today I couldn't have loved her more.
I know I am going to blink and T will be 5. I'll turn my head and she'll be 17. Before I know it, I will be dancing at her wedding. These times of my baby sleeping in my arms are just fleeting moments. They will not last forever. As much as it makes me sad (and brings tears to my eyes) I know that I have these moments for now. And I plan to enjoy every single one of them.
Song for a Fifth Child.
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I’m pretty sure this is the longest I have kept any resolu…..I mean goal! Here is the rundown:
Rock Star Mommy is going awesome! We have tummy, play and reading time every day. We haven’t missed one yet. T is really loving “Where the Wild Things Are” but still hating tummy time. She is getting really close to rolling over though! That will be such a happy/sad day! My baby is growing up! I have gotten in the habit of pretty much stopping what I’m doing when she is alert and wants to play. Laughing, cooing, playing… it’s all amazing with her!
Rock Star Wifey is also going well. We have been talking a lot more about random things, the future and have really been talking about where we see our family going. It’s amazing to sit down and really plan the future together. Being on the same page with D helps me sleep at night! As for money, as usual it’s tight but we are managing and really changing our attitudes. No more daily Starbucks runs (ok that I think we are both a bit sad about!)
Rock Star Woman….not going too well. School started and I cried all the way to class. Then 3/4s of the way through it I got a call to go home because T was having her first ever melt down. As Murphy’s law would have it, by the time I got home she was fine! But it still scared me enough to never want to leave her again. And except for a Target run while she was sleeping, I haven’t! I am down 3 more lbs though….well… after that brownie peanut butter delight from said Target run that may no longer be the case!
Rock Star House is kicking butt! I have planned and executed every single meal since January 1st! I know that’s only 11 days but still! I do every single meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are all accounted for in my shopping list and it has been great. Cooking has been going really well. The first week I made macaroons as my new recipe. This week it was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…. Ok so I know I said meals but I love baking and I love sugar right now so desserts count as a meal! I am starting to plan out the re-do of my laundry ‘room’ (it’s a closet but it will soon be a very organized, pretty closet!) And after a trip to Costco with my mom sister, nephew and T, my pantry is looking good!
I’ve been having my good days and bad days but honestly, I’m loving my life right now!
Rock Star Mommy is going awesome! We have tummy, play and reading time every day. We haven’t missed one yet. T is really loving “Where the Wild Things Are” but still hating tummy time. She is getting really close to rolling over though! That will be such a happy/sad day! My baby is growing up! I have gotten in the habit of pretty much stopping what I’m doing when she is alert and wants to play. Laughing, cooing, playing… it’s all amazing with her!
Rock Star Wifey is also going well. We have been talking a lot more about random things, the future and have really been talking about where we see our family going. It’s amazing to sit down and really plan the future together. Being on the same page with D helps me sleep at night! As for money, as usual it’s tight but we are managing and really changing our attitudes. No more daily Starbucks runs (ok that I think we are both a bit sad about!)
Rock Star Woman….not going too well. School started and I cried all the way to class. Then 3/4s of the way through it I got a call to go home because T was having her first ever melt down. As Murphy’s law would have it, by the time I got home she was fine! But it still scared me enough to never want to leave her again. And except for a Target run while she was sleeping, I haven’t! I am down 3 more lbs though….well… after that brownie peanut butter delight from said Target run that may no longer be the case!
Rock Star House is kicking butt! I have planned and executed every single meal since January 1st! I know that’s only 11 days but still! I do every single meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are all accounted for in my shopping list and it has been great. Cooking has been going really well. The first week I made macaroons as my new recipe. This week it was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…. Ok so I know I said meals but I love baking and I love sugar right now so desserts count as a meal! I am starting to plan out the re-do of my laundry ‘room’ (it’s a closet but it will soon be a very organized, pretty closet!) And after a trip to Costco with my mom sister, nephew and T, my pantry is looking good!
I’ve been having my good days and bad days but honestly, I’m loving my life right now!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Parenting in Hiding
When I first got pregnant I had a plan. I had watched all of my family and friends with their babies and I just knew what was going to work for me. I had long discussions about the appropriate amount of time to breast feed, whether or not BPA free was really worth the extra money. I learned all the best advice on how to get babies to take great naps and more importantly how to get them to sleep through the night. I was told what to do and what not to do. And more often than not, I agreed with people even when I knew I would be different. This should have been my first clue that I would end up where I am at today.
I was unemployed in the months leading up to T’s birth. This gave me A LOT of time to read and research what I thought would be best for my family. For starters, she was going to sleep with us. No one in my life agreed with this. Some said it, some didn’t, but I know everyone thought the same thing. That we would sleep much better if she was in her own room and so would she. We tried it, she hated it, so did we, she will be with us until the summer (in her crib, in our rom). It works for us. And I don’t tell anyone. Although I felt supported about my decision to breastfeed, at the first sign of trouble all I heard was ‘pump and give her a bottle’. That is the last thing you should do when you’re trying to teach a newborn to latch. Finally after 6 exhausting, painful weeks we got the hang of it. I was so proud that I had stuck with it and not given up, then I started getting the ‘when are you thinking about stopping?’. It will be a while I promise, but I don’t say that. “You vaccinated?” Yep. “You honestly use bumpers?” I do. Short simple answers with no explanation.
I could easily blame myself for not defending our decisions as parents and in the beginning I did. But as time has gone on, I have gotten sick of the looks, the slight eye rolls and the constant need to defend myself. I don’t talk about what we have chosen for T anymore. That I will breastfeed until she weans. That she will NEVER cry it out. I vaccinated because watching a child go through whooping cough is horrid. I baby carry because we both love it. I meet every one of her needs, on HER time and will do so until she is old enough to understand to wait. I will make my own baby food. I understand that it takes time, but for me, for her, it’s worth it. I do realize how crunchy and granola yet mainstream I am but it’s what works for us.
This is why I say I parent in hiding. It’s easier to just say nothing, or to just agree than to try and explain my decisions. D feels the same way. We have made these decisions together and he trusts my research but most of all my instincts. Out of all the things I thought would surprise me as a new mom, this one stunned me the most. The lack of support we give each other as women and moms is astounding. The guilt we feel at times is overwhelming. I don’t let myself get depressed about this because that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about T and doing what is right for her. I know I am not the only mom that feels this way but we are quite to avoid the drama. It can get lonely not being able to talk about my life style, but I’m not going to change to fit what people think I should do. T is a very healthy, VERY happy baby, and that is all that matters!
I was unemployed in the months leading up to T’s birth. This gave me A LOT of time to read and research what I thought would be best for my family. For starters, she was going to sleep with us. No one in my life agreed with this. Some said it, some didn’t, but I know everyone thought the same thing. That we would sleep much better if she was in her own room and so would she. We tried it, she hated it, so did we, she will be with us until the summer (in her crib, in our rom). It works for us. And I don’t tell anyone. Although I felt supported about my decision to breastfeed, at the first sign of trouble all I heard was ‘pump and give her a bottle’. That is the last thing you should do when you’re trying to teach a newborn to latch. Finally after 6 exhausting, painful weeks we got the hang of it. I was so proud that I had stuck with it and not given up, then I started getting the ‘when are you thinking about stopping?’. It will be a while I promise, but I don’t say that. “You vaccinated?” Yep. “You honestly use bumpers?” I do. Short simple answers with no explanation.
I could easily blame myself for not defending our decisions as parents and in the beginning I did. But as time has gone on, I have gotten sick of the looks, the slight eye rolls and the constant need to defend myself. I don’t talk about what we have chosen for T anymore. That I will breastfeed until she weans. That she will NEVER cry it out. I vaccinated because watching a child go through whooping cough is horrid. I baby carry because we both love it. I meet every one of her needs, on HER time and will do so until she is old enough to understand to wait. I will make my own baby food. I understand that it takes time, but for me, for her, it’s worth it. I do realize how crunchy and granola yet mainstream I am but it’s what works for us.
This is why I say I parent in hiding. It’s easier to just say nothing, or to just agree than to try and explain my decisions. D feels the same way. We have made these decisions together and he trusts my research but most of all my instincts. Out of all the things I thought would surprise me as a new mom, this one stunned me the most. The lack of support we give each other as women and moms is astounding. The guilt we feel at times is overwhelming. I don’t let myself get depressed about this because that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about T and doing what is right for her. I know I am not the only mom that feels this way but we are quite to avoid the drama. It can get lonely not being able to talk about my life style, but I’m not going to change to fit what people think I should do. T is a very healthy, VERY happy baby, and that is all that matters!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
An Intro to T
Turkey burgers for dinner
Play, reading and tummy time all check!
Really not feeling like cleaning today.
I need to start by saying that I had no idea that D and I could create something so amazing. Baby T is the absolute best thing I have ever been a part of and being her mom is my greatest honor.
T came about 2 years after we decided to have a baby. I had been sick for around 6 months and went to get checked out before we started trying. After seeing many doctors and specialist I was diagnosed with mono. I know... the best health care in the world and 5 docs overlooked the obvious. I was officially diagnosed the day Obama accepted the nomination for the presidency (We were there!). It was wonderful to finally know what was wrong, it was horrible because we had to wait a year to even start trying. Long story short it was a very long year and a month after getting the all clear we were pregnant.
From the very beginning T was a happy baby. She had the strongest heart beat, loved to kick and had the hiccups at least once a day. I loved being pregnant. I was sick a lot with sinus infections, colds, migraines but T was always fine. Beautiful infact. We found out T was a girl in June with D's brother was in town. I had never pictured myself with anything but a girl and both D and I were over the moon at the ultrasound. We also found out she was big! I was 2 weeks late when I went in for a full induction and after an easy (I do mean that by the way. Labor is totally do-able) 12 hours of labor at 11:26pm T came into this world. And she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.
Since the first time I held her my heart expanded exponentially. I fell so in love so fast it honestly hurt. She was (and is) so beautiful. For 3 days I didn't take my eyes off of her. She had to get her hearing checked the day after she was born and the nurse offered to take her for an hour so we could get some sleep. It lasted 30 minutes. I couldn't be without her. And it's still true today. I adore D. He is the most amazing man I have ever met and I love him so much... but I love T more. And he feels the same. I just had no idea I could ever love someone so much.
As of today T is 10 weeks and 2 days old. Time flies when you're madly in love. She holds her head up perfectly. Weighs 14lbs, is 24 inches and above 95% in milestones. But none of that matters to us. She smiles when daddy comes home from work. She nurses like a champ. She loves to stand already (we obviously hold her) and coos like crazy with mom all day. She loves books, Where the Wild Things Are is her current favorite. She likes to sit and watch TV (one thing I swore I would never do, but oh well!) and LOVES football. I could watch her sleep for hours. She only cries (I use this term lightly, its more of a fuss) when she's hungry and sleeps 4-5 hours at a time. She is starting to give baby kisses and had her first laugh at mom last week. She sits like a queen in her bumbo and sleeps like an angel in her swing. I love playing and talking and singing with her. She holds my attention and heart all the time.
I am excited to be blogging about my time with her. She changes so much from week to week it is so literally awesome. To know her is not just to love her but to adore the ground she plays on!
Play, reading and tummy time all check!
Really not feeling like cleaning today.
I need to start by saying that I had no idea that D and I could create something so amazing. Baby T is the absolute best thing I have ever been a part of and being her mom is my greatest honor.
T came about 2 years after we decided to have a baby. I had been sick for around 6 months and went to get checked out before we started trying. After seeing many doctors and specialist I was diagnosed with mono. I know... the best health care in the world and 5 docs overlooked the obvious. I was officially diagnosed the day Obama accepted the nomination for the presidency (We were there!). It was wonderful to finally know what was wrong, it was horrible because we had to wait a year to even start trying. Long story short it was a very long year and a month after getting the all clear we were pregnant.
From the very beginning T was a happy baby. She had the strongest heart beat, loved to kick and had the hiccups at least once a day. I loved being pregnant. I was sick a lot with sinus infections, colds, migraines but T was always fine. Beautiful infact. We found out T was a girl in June with D's brother was in town. I had never pictured myself with anything but a girl and both D and I were over the moon at the ultrasound. We also found out she was big! I was 2 weeks late when I went in for a full induction and after an easy (I do mean that by the way. Labor is totally do-able) 12 hours of labor at 11:26pm T came into this world. And she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.
Since the first time I held her my heart expanded exponentially. I fell so in love so fast it honestly hurt. She was (and is) so beautiful. For 3 days I didn't take my eyes off of her. She had to get her hearing checked the day after she was born and the nurse offered to take her for an hour so we could get some sleep. It lasted 30 minutes. I couldn't be without her. And it's still true today. I adore D. He is the most amazing man I have ever met and I love him so much... but I love T more. And he feels the same. I just had no idea I could ever love someone so much.
As of today T is 10 weeks and 2 days old. Time flies when you're madly in love. She holds her head up perfectly. Weighs 14lbs, is 24 inches and above 95% in milestones. But none of that matters to us. She smiles when daddy comes home from work. She nurses like a champ. She loves to stand already (we obviously hold her) and coos like crazy with mom all day. She loves books, Where the Wild Things Are is her current favorite. She likes to sit and watch TV (one thing I swore I would never do, but oh well!) and LOVES football. I could watch her sleep for hours. She only cries (I use this term lightly, its more of a fuss) when she's hungry and sleeps 4-5 hours at a time. She is starting to give baby kisses and had her first laugh at mom last week. She sits like a queen in her bumbo and sleeps like an angel in her swing. I love playing and talking and singing with her. She holds my attention and heart all the time.
I am excited to be blogging about my time with her. She changes so much from week to week it is so literally awesome. To know her is not just to love her but to adore the ground she plays on!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Negative Nancy Coming Out To Play!
1-2-2009
Left overs for lunch
Mexican Chicken for dinner
Chocolate Chocolate Chip banana bread
You are going to her me complain about Minnesota on this blog. A LOT. I have pretty much hated it since the day we moved here over 18 years ago.
Today my rant is about the weather. It's effing freezing right now. And has been for 2 days. And will be for the next... oh... 4 freaking months. Now normally I hibernate this time of year with lots of movies and tv and an amazing amount of blankets and I only go out when I need to. However this year is different. I started my hibernation in the summer. When I was too huge to go anywhere. And this summer was cold by the way. I was 7 months pregnant in July with a hoodie on. Ridiculous. But I digress. I have been pretty much house bound for 6 months and I feel like I'm going to loose my mind and here's why... there is NO WAY I'm taking T out in this crap.
So D has tickets to tomorrows Vikings game. He is going with our brother in law and is leaving me the car (we only have one car. D works across the street and we have never needed 2 cars). So I'm thinking, awesome! I need to get some groceries, maybe T and I can stop by my sisters. And then I realize... the high is going to be 2. That's right, 2. Even if I bundle T up in long sleeves and jackets, snow suits and the snugglie, I have to go in and out and she will be hot then cold then hot again. Not worth it! Not to mention her poor 10 week old skin is already dry with 3 humidifiers going at all times. Even today I fed her at 1pm, then she fell asleep and that's when I went to the store. On my shopping excursion I actually felt sad. My life now consists of getting all of my errands done in between naps when D is home. I know a lot of people are going to say that I can and should take her out but honestly, I just can't do it. I hate this time of year and I don't want to expose her to my reasons why. If this were spring or summer or fall, I would have no problem taking her anywhere infact I would welcome it. But alas... we live in a frozen tundra with my daughter having little to no chance of being outdoors for at least 3 months!
On a happier note, I made a kick BUTT chocolate chocolate chip banana bread (new years resolution is to stop swearing...it's quite hard for this potty mouth mama) today. Super easy recipe that didn't require a mixer! Give me a shout if you want the recipe!
Left overs for lunch
Mexican Chicken for dinner
Chocolate Chocolate Chip banana bread
You are going to her me complain about Minnesota on this blog. A LOT. I have pretty much hated it since the day we moved here over 18 years ago.
Today my rant is about the weather. It's effing freezing right now. And has been for 2 days. And will be for the next... oh... 4 freaking months. Now normally I hibernate this time of year with lots of movies and tv and an amazing amount of blankets and I only go out when I need to. However this year is different. I started my hibernation in the summer. When I was too huge to go anywhere. And this summer was cold by the way. I was 7 months pregnant in July with a hoodie on. Ridiculous. But I digress. I have been pretty much house bound for 6 months and I feel like I'm going to loose my mind and here's why... there is NO WAY I'm taking T out in this crap.
So D has tickets to tomorrows Vikings game. He is going with our brother in law and is leaving me the car (we only have one car. D works across the street and we have never needed 2 cars). So I'm thinking, awesome! I need to get some groceries, maybe T and I can stop by my sisters. And then I realize... the high is going to be 2. That's right, 2. Even if I bundle T up in long sleeves and jackets, snow suits and the snugglie, I have to go in and out and she will be hot then cold then hot again. Not worth it! Not to mention her poor 10 week old skin is already dry with 3 humidifiers going at all times. Even today I fed her at 1pm, then she fell asleep and that's when I went to the store. On my shopping excursion I actually felt sad. My life now consists of getting all of my errands done in between naps when D is home. I know a lot of people are going to say that I can and should take her out but honestly, I just can't do it. I hate this time of year and I don't want to expose her to my reasons why. If this were spring or summer or fall, I would have no problem taking her anywhere infact I would welcome it. But alas... we live in a frozen tundra with my daughter having little to no chance of being outdoors for at least 3 months!
On a happier note, I made a kick BUTT chocolate chocolate chip banana bread (new years resolution is to stop swearing...it's quite hard for this potty mouth mama) today. Super easy recipe that didn't require a mixer! Give me a shout if you want the recipe!
4x4
I hate the term ‘resolution’. It seems so harsh and final. So as 2010 was approaching, I was pondering my possible ‘resolutions’ for the coming year. I came to the conclusion that no endings were needed, no harsh rules to live by needed to be implemented, instead I am going to go with the ever boring ‘goals for 2010’. Ever since T was born, and I became a stay at home mom, I have been thinking of my lack of goals. Not that I was good at corporate America goals but still. So I have come up with 4 areas of my life I want to work on and given myself 4 goals per area. By writing these out, I will have to hold myself accountable to do and live better. NO SLACKING!
Area 1: Be a Connected Mommy
Goal 1> Tummy time, reading and play time… EVERY DAY.
Goal 2> Breast feed the whole year. Maybe longer. So far so good!
Goal 3> At 6 months I will make all of her food. A big task, probably bigger than I realize. I just need to know where her food is coming from.
Goal 4> Love it and be present every day. It’s so easy to get caught up in cleaning, cooking and planning that I forget to just be with her. I want to be connected to her every chance I get. The rest can wait!
Area 2: Be a Better Wife
Goal 1> More sex. I know… TMI. I’ll just stop here!
Goal 2> Have stuff to talk about besides diaper blowouts, anything from people.com or the message boards on baby center. This means more MPR and cnn.com. Or if I really want to make him happy, espnsoccernet.
Goal 3> Be more active/have more fun. It’s easy to just plop in front of the t.v. to settle down for the night but my plan is to talk more, play more board games and go out more when the weather gets nicer.
Goal 4> Manage $$$... TOGETHER! It’s not a him thing or a me thing, we need to get our money situation under control and that will require a tag team effort!
Area 3: Become a Rock Star Woman
Goal 1> GRADUATE! Finally.
Goal 2> Loose and keep off 20 lbs. I know, so cliché but it needs t happen and if it takes all year, it takes all year. (I will miss you Oreos. We have been friends for so long I’m not quite sure raisins will adequately take your place)
Goal 3> Master my Camera! This one I am excited for. The camera as a 250 page book to maximize its potential and that arrives in the mail next week. D promised 3 nights of uninterrupted study/practice time. I can’t wait!
Goal 4> Read more. I sadly read nothing right now. Well, Oprah and Real Simple… does that count?
Area 4: House Guru Extraordinaire
Goal 1> Start stock piling/ couponing.
Goal 2> Cook one new meal a week. I have started this one already and I am actually starting to enjoy cooking. It makes me feel like a true housewife! A raging liberal feminist housewife!
Goal 3> (Keep) Organize my house! I have also started this one by reorganizing 2 closets and purging half my clothes (and some of D’s… hopefully he won’t notice). There are many sub goals in this category, too many to mention so I’ll just update as I go.
Goal 4> Plan every meal for every single day. It will save time and money in the long run. And will help me keep my cooking and organizing goals.
So here it is. My plan for 2010. My last and main goal is to realize that I don’t have to complete all of these perfectly. I will screw up. I will fall behind. I will suck at things and that is ok! I don’t always have to be perfect!
Area 1: Be a Connected Mommy
Goal 1> Tummy time, reading and play time… EVERY DAY.
Goal 2> Breast feed the whole year. Maybe longer. So far so good!
Goal 3> At 6 months I will make all of her food. A big task, probably bigger than I realize. I just need to know where her food is coming from.
Goal 4> Love it and be present every day. It’s so easy to get caught up in cleaning, cooking and planning that I forget to just be with her. I want to be connected to her every chance I get. The rest can wait!
Area 2: Be a Better Wife
Goal 1> More sex. I know… TMI. I’ll just stop here!
Goal 2> Have stuff to talk about besides diaper blowouts, anything from people.com or the message boards on baby center. This means more MPR and cnn.com. Or if I really want to make him happy, espnsoccernet.
Goal 3> Be more active/have more fun. It’s easy to just plop in front of the t.v. to settle down for the night but my plan is to talk more, play more board games and go out more when the weather gets nicer.
Goal 4> Manage $$$... TOGETHER! It’s not a him thing or a me thing, we need to get our money situation under control and that will require a tag team effort!
Area 3: Become a Rock Star Woman
Goal 1> GRADUATE! Finally.
Goal 2> Loose and keep off 20 lbs. I know, so cliché but it needs t happen and if it takes all year, it takes all year. (I will miss you Oreos. We have been friends for so long I’m not quite sure raisins will adequately take your place)
Goal 3> Master my Camera! This one I am excited for. The camera as a 250 page book to maximize its potential and that arrives in the mail next week. D promised 3 nights of uninterrupted study/practice time. I can’t wait!
Goal 4> Read more. I sadly read nothing right now. Well, Oprah and Real Simple… does that count?
Area 4: House Guru Extraordinaire
Goal 1> Start stock piling/ couponing.
Goal 2> Cook one new meal a week. I have started this one already and I am actually starting to enjoy cooking. It makes me feel like a true housewife! A raging liberal feminist housewife!
Goal 3> (Keep) Organize my house! I have also started this one by reorganizing 2 closets and purging half my clothes (and some of D’s… hopefully he won’t notice). There are many sub goals in this category, too many to mention so I’ll just update as I go.
Goal 4> Plan every meal for every single day. It will save time and money in the long run. And will help me keep my cooking and organizing goals.
So here it is. My plan for 2010. My last and main goal is to realize that I don’t have to complete all of these perfectly. I will screw up. I will fall behind. I will suck at things and that is ok! I don’t always have to be perfect!
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