I am home alone. And I don't hate it. And as usual.... that makes me feel guilty.
I love T more than anything. As D was leaving I said to him "If anything happens to her, I will never forgive you." Nice wife I know, but its true. I love T so much she is such a spot of sunshine in my life. Even when she's crabby and out of it, I still love her and I'll even manage to get a few hugs in her moodiness.
Lately I have been feeling really overwhelmed. Tired. Sad for no reason. I have moments of bliss but I'm also really run down. I don't know if it's the sun and heat or the stress of a massive upcoming life change, I just can't seem to recharge anymore. And I really believe it's because I am never by myself. Ever. Except now.
It's hard to turn off and not be a mom. It's hard to just type even when the disaster of a kitchen is looking at you. But I know it's whats best for me. Even these 30 minutes while she's gone will help me feel better. Now if only I had some chocolates.... :)I'm reading Chopra right now and the law of pure potentiality has a silence component that I need to learn. How to just be. Be still. Be quiet. Be silent. I am really starting to believe I might never fully master this. But I will try. Try and remember to breathe. Try to be at peace. Try and relax!
Now time to go find some chocolate!
No comments:
Post a Comment