I had a big realization at a playdate today. One of those delayed (due to lack of coffee) reactions that lead to a life changing paradigm shift.
It happened when I saw another mom tell her 16 month old that she wasn't going to nurse her. It hit me that I had already fed T twice in an hour, once because she was hungry and once because she fell (boobs for boo boos!). Then another mom confessed that she was embarrassed that she co-slept with her son during naps. T has slept in a crib twice when she was a week old. Not thinking much of these small events I went about the rest of my day, doing my thing with my baby.
And then it hit me. I parent totally my way. I follow no one else. I go with my gut and my gut only. I have really learned, partly out of necessity, to just quit caring what other people think. I had always felt judged when discussing parenting. We do it differently. In our world we are extreme, weird and wrong. But I always knew we were doing what was best for T. I do, whats right, for my child, my self, my husband, my family. I have learned balance mommy relationships while being oblivious to how other people parent!
I wish all moms could feel this way. These mommy wars can be intense. Being able to turn off the drama (mostly in my head) has made me the mom I have always wanted to be. So maybe instead of trying to get people to see our parenting points, we should just focus on our own lives and just quit caring!
3 comments:
agreed. it's so stressful living up to books or what other babies of my friends did. i know i'm doing a ton "wrong" per all the "helpful" resources out there. blah!
Thank you for writing this - I am a mommy to be and I tend to shy away from blogging about my pregnancy because other mothers terrify me!
Couldn't have said it better myself. I have kept baby #2 a secret for a lot longer than i did with #1 because I was worried I would offend someone who wasn't able to have children, all while suppressing my own joy! I'm a a lot happier when I'm able to worry a little less about everyone around me, cause lets face it I can't satisfy all people. Thanks for the post!
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