I'm baaaaaack! With an update!

First I’ll start with the 4x4 goals and I have done surprisingly well!
Being a connected mommy has been hard but the most rewarding think I have done. I can gladly say that I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. T is now a beautiful, smart, funny, laughing, rolling, solids eating, still breast feeding baby girl! She amazes me every day. I fall more and more in love with her every day, it is honestly awesome. I’m not kidding when I say that she is an absolute joy… every single day.

As for being a better wife….. that one is tough. Managing money together is easy because we never have any! However, we now have savings which we have had little of in the past! I listen to NPR at least an hour a day so I have something to talk about, but there is a lot to talk about lately in life so we are actually never out of topics. As for having fun… IT’S HARD! I’m wiped at the end of my day and so is D for that matter. The stress levels have been upped in our family recently so fun is a fluid concept between D and I. However, we LOVE our weekends with T. Art museums, the Zoo, malls, the pool, you name it we do it as a family and that give us the most amazing sense of joy and calm in our world full of chaos.

Becoming a rockstar has been a BLAST! I did graduate in May. The best moment was walking across the stage, knowing that T was watching. I know she won’t remember, but long before she was even a glimmer in my eye, I was in school for her. And now I’m done and when the time is right, I will go back to work as a rockstar social worker! I actually have lost 15lbs not because of a diet for me, but because of one for T. At 6 months T was diagnosed with the D protein allergy meaning no dairy, soy whey or casein for mom! Since soy is literally in everything, I dropped the weight rather quickly, but that’s for another blog! I never did get those 3 nights to study with my camera, but I have been working really hard to learn. I have over 3500 pictures of T. Nough said! As for reading more, I read A LOT of parenting books! A LOT of parenting books.

On the domestic goddess front I’m 2 and 2. I have actually meal planned every meal for months now! I do cook a new meal once a week if not more. However keeping a house organized is no longer on my to do list because it’s NOT gonna happen! Most days, at some point, it looks like Babies R Us puked in my living room! And stock piling isn’t on my mind because it isn’t winter anymore.

Now that I’m not in school and T is on a (somewhat!) schedule I have more time. Who needs to clean and do laundry when there are blogs to write!

Being Present

I'm a planner. I plan every meal, everyday. I plan weekends. I plan vacations and mini getaways. I plan how to teach my daughter to read. What school she will go to, how to help her get over her first broken heart. I plan charity events big and small I plan. In my life there is always a daily to do list. There is always people to call laundry to do and e-mails to catch up on. All that coupled with maintaining a marriage, getting A's in school and trying to be a good mom is a recipe for 'perfection' disaster. Things will fall through the cracks.

Today I had a lot to do. The kitchen was dirty, laundry was crawling to the washer I needed to write a paper, the to do list was mounting. T was having a rough day. I'm pretty sure she is teething and headed for a growth spurt. She wanted to be nowhere but in my arms sleeping. I started to get frustrated when I looked down at my sleeping baby and stopped. I just stopped. She is still so small in my arms. Her little chest was rising and falling rhythmically. Beautifully. Her prefect skin falling into dimples when she smiled in her sleep. For 4 hours I watched T as she slept. I made the decision to be present with her a long time ago but in those moments today I couldn't have loved her more.

I know I am going to blink and T will be 5. I'll turn my head and she'll be 17. Before I know it, I will be dancing at her wedding. These times of my baby sleeping in my arms are just fleeting moments. They will not last forever. As much as it makes me sad (and brings tears to my eyes) I know that I have these moments for now. And I plan to enjoy every single one of them.

Song for a Fifth Child.

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.