I love mom bloggers.
They make me laugh, make me cry, make me feel normal when they write about things I only think about! One thing that amazes me is how they find time. I'm a mom to just a one child, with a husband and a small house and I can't find the time to think about issues let alone write about them. I'm always in amazement of how eloquent, impactful and soulful mom bloggers can be. They tackle topics that are near and dear to my heart. They are passionate, respectful (most of the time!) and can explain things in my language. I always feel like I have a lingering smell of poop on me, I'm only convincing when I yell, and the topics I care about only pertain to me and very few other people in my life!
I'm going to try harder to write more. To research more and write about what I care about. I want to write freely, purposefully and happily! The key is to find the time, topics, and once and for all finding out where that smell of poop is coming from!
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I'm baaaaaack! With an update!
First I’ll start with the 4x4 goals and I have done surprisingly well!
Being a connected mommy has been hard but the most rewarding think I have done. I can gladly say that I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. T is now a beautiful, smart, funny, laughing, rolling, solids eating, still breast feeding baby girl! She amazes me every day. I fall more and more in love with her every day, it is honestly awesome. I’m not kidding when I say that she is an absolute joy… every single day.
As for being a better wife….. that one is tough. Managing money together is easy because we never have any! However, we now have savings which we have had little of in the past! I listen to NPR at least an hour a day so I have something to talk about, but there is a lot to talk about lately in life so we are actually never out of topics. As for having fun… IT’S HARD! I’m wiped at the end of my day and so is D for that matter. The stress levels have been upped in our family recently so fun is a fluid concept between D and I. However, we LOVE our weekends with T. Art museums, the Zoo, malls, the pool, you name it we do it as a family and that give us the most amazing sense of joy and calm in our world full of chaos.
Becoming a rockstar has been a BLAST! I did graduate in May. The best moment was walking across the stage, knowing that T was watching. I know she won’t remember, but long before she was even a glimmer in my eye, I was in school for her. And now I’m done and when the time is right, I will go back to work as a rockstar social worker! I actually have lost 15lbs not because of a diet for me, but because of one for T. At 6 months T was diagnosed with the D protein allergy meaning no dairy, soy whey or casein for mom! Since soy is literally in everything, I dropped the weight rather quickly, but that’s for another blog! I never did get those 3 nights to study with my camera, but I have been working really hard to learn. I have over 3500 pictures of T. Nough said! As for reading more, I read A LOT of parenting books! A LOT of parenting books.
On the domestic goddess front I’m 2 and 2. I have actually meal planned every meal for months now! I do cook a new meal once a week if not more. However keeping a house organized is no longer on my to do list because it’s NOT gonna happen! Most days, at some point, it looks like Babies R Us puked in my living room! And stock piling isn’t on my mind because it isn’t winter anymore.
Now that I’m not in school and T is on a (somewhat!) schedule I have more time. Who needs to clean and do laundry when there are blogs to write!
Being a connected mommy has been hard but the most rewarding think I have done. I can gladly say that I have accomplished everything I have set out to do. T is now a beautiful, smart, funny, laughing, rolling, solids eating, still breast feeding baby girl! She amazes me every day. I fall more and more in love with her every day, it is honestly awesome. I’m not kidding when I say that she is an absolute joy… every single day.
As for being a better wife….. that one is tough. Managing money together is easy because we never have any! However, we now have savings which we have had little of in the past! I listen to NPR at least an hour a day so I have something to talk about, but there is a lot to talk about lately in life so we are actually never out of topics. As for having fun… IT’S HARD! I’m wiped at the end of my day and so is D for that matter. The stress levels have been upped in our family recently so fun is a fluid concept between D and I. However, we LOVE our weekends with T. Art museums, the Zoo, malls, the pool, you name it we do it as a family and that give us the most amazing sense of joy and calm in our world full of chaos.
Becoming a rockstar has been a BLAST! I did graduate in May. The best moment was walking across the stage, knowing that T was watching. I know she won’t remember, but long before she was even a glimmer in my eye, I was in school for her. And now I’m done and when the time is right, I will go back to work as a rockstar social worker! I actually have lost 15lbs not because of a diet for me, but because of one for T. At 6 months T was diagnosed with the D protein allergy meaning no dairy, soy whey or casein for mom! Since soy is literally in everything, I dropped the weight rather quickly, but that’s for another blog! I never did get those 3 nights to study with my camera, but I have been working really hard to learn. I have over 3500 pictures of T. Nough said! As for reading more, I read A LOT of parenting books! A LOT of parenting books.
On the domestic goddess front I’m 2 and 2. I have actually meal planned every meal for months now! I do cook a new meal once a week if not more. However keeping a house organized is no longer on my to do list because it’s NOT gonna happen! Most days, at some point, it looks like Babies R Us puked in my living room! And stock piling isn’t on my mind because it isn’t winter anymore.
Now that I’m not in school and T is on a (somewhat!) schedule I have more time. Who needs to clean and do laundry when there are blogs to write!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Being Present
I'm a planner. I plan every meal, everyday. I plan weekends. I plan vacations and mini getaways. I plan how to teach my daughter to read. What school she will go to, how to help her get over her first broken heart. I plan charity events big and small I plan. In my life there is always a daily to do list. There is always people to call laundry to do and e-mails to catch up on. All that coupled with maintaining a marriage, getting A's in school and trying to be a good mom is a recipe for 'perfection' disaster. Things will fall through the cracks.
Today I had a lot to do. The kitchen was dirty, laundry was crawling to the washer I needed to write a paper, the to do list was mounting. T was having a rough day. I'm pretty sure she is teething and headed for a growth spurt. She wanted to be nowhere but in my arms sleeping. I started to get frustrated when I looked down at my sleeping baby and stopped. I just stopped. She is still so small in my arms. Her little chest was rising and falling rhythmically. Beautifully. Her prefect skin falling into dimples when she smiled in her sleep. For 4 hours I watched T as she slept. I made the decision to be present with her a long time ago but in those moments today I couldn't have loved her more.
I know I am going to blink and T will be 5. I'll turn my head and she'll be 17. Before I know it, I will be dancing at her wedding. These times of my baby sleeping in my arms are just fleeting moments. They will not last forever. As much as it makes me sad (and brings tears to my eyes) I know that I have these moments for now. And I plan to enjoy every single one of them.
Song for a Fifth Child.
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
Today I had a lot to do. The kitchen was dirty, laundry was crawling to the washer I needed to write a paper, the to do list was mounting. T was having a rough day. I'm pretty sure she is teething and headed for a growth spurt. She wanted to be nowhere but in my arms sleeping. I started to get frustrated when I looked down at my sleeping baby and stopped. I just stopped. She is still so small in my arms. Her little chest was rising and falling rhythmically. Beautifully. Her prefect skin falling into dimples when she smiled in her sleep. For 4 hours I watched T as she slept. I made the decision to be present with her a long time ago but in those moments today I couldn't have loved her more.
I know I am going to blink and T will be 5. I'll turn my head and she'll be 17. Before I know it, I will be dancing at her wedding. These times of my baby sleeping in my arms are just fleeting moments. They will not last forever. As much as it makes me sad (and brings tears to my eyes) I know that I have these moments for now. And I plan to enjoy every single one of them.
Song for a Fifth Child.
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I’m pretty sure this is the longest I have kept any resolu…..I mean goal! Here is the rundown:
Rock Star Mommy is going awesome! We have tummy, play and reading time every day. We haven’t missed one yet. T is really loving “Where the Wild Things Are” but still hating tummy time. She is getting really close to rolling over though! That will be such a happy/sad day! My baby is growing up! I have gotten in the habit of pretty much stopping what I’m doing when she is alert and wants to play. Laughing, cooing, playing… it’s all amazing with her!
Rock Star Wifey is also going well. We have been talking a lot more about random things, the future and have really been talking about where we see our family going. It’s amazing to sit down and really plan the future together. Being on the same page with D helps me sleep at night! As for money, as usual it’s tight but we are managing and really changing our attitudes. No more daily Starbucks runs (ok that I think we are both a bit sad about!)
Rock Star Woman….not going too well. School started and I cried all the way to class. Then 3/4s of the way through it I got a call to go home because T was having her first ever melt down. As Murphy’s law would have it, by the time I got home she was fine! But it still scared me enough to never want to leave her again. And except for a Target run while she was sleeping, I haven’t! I am down 3 more lbs though….well… after that brownie peanut butter delight from said Target run that may no longer be the case!
Rock Star House is kicking butt! I have planned and executed every single meal since January 1st! I know that’s only 11 days but still! I do every single meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are all accounted for in my shopping list and it has been great. Cooking has been going really well. The first week I made macaroons as my new recipe. This week it was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…. Ok so I know I said meals but I love baking and I love sugar right now so desserts count as a meal! I am starting to plan out the re-do of my laundry ‘room’ (it’s a closet but it will soon be a very organized, pretty closet!) And after a trip to Costco with my mom sister, nephew and T, my pantry is looking good!
I’ve been having my good days and bad days but honestly, I’m loving my life right now!
Rock Star Mommy is going awesome! We have tummy, play and reading time every day. We haven’t missed one yet. T is really loving “Where the Wild Things Are” but still hating tummy time. She is getting really close to rolling over though! That will be such a happy/sad day! My baby is growing up! I have gotten in the habit of pretty much stopping what I’m doing when she is alert and wants to play. Laughing, cooing, playing… it’s all amazing with her!
Rock Star Wifey is also going well. We have been talking a lot more about random things, the future and have really been talking about where we see our family going. It’s amazing to sit down and really plan the future together. Being on the same page with D helps me sleep at night! As for money, as usual it’s tight but we are managing and really changing our attitudes. No more daily Starbucks runs (ok that I think we are both a bit sad about!)
Rock Star Woman….not going too well. School started and I cried all the way to class. Then 3/4s of the way through it I got a call to go home because T was having her first ever melt down. As Murphy’s law would have it, by the time I got home she was fine! But it still scared me enough to never want to leave her again. And except for a Target run while she was sleeping, I haven’t! I am down 3 more lbs though….well… after that brownie peanut butter delight from said Target run that may no longer be the case!
Rock Star House is kicking butt! I have planned and executed every single meal since January 1st! I know that’s only 11 days but still! I do every single meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are all accounted for in my shopping list and it has been great. Cooking has been going really well. The first week I made macaroons as my new recipe. This week it was oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…. Ok so I know I said meals but I love baking and I love sugar right now so desserts count as a meal! I am starting to plan out the re-do of my laundry ‘room’ (it’s a closet but it will soon be a very organized, pretty closet!) And after a trip to Costco with my mom sister, nephew and T, my pantry is looking good!
I’ve been having my good days and bad days but honestly, I’m loving my life right now!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Parenting in Hiding
When I first got pregnant I had a plan. I had watched all of my family and friends with their babies and I just knew what was going to work for me. I had long discussions about the appropriate amount of time to breast feed, whether or not BPA free was really worth the extra money. I learned all the best advice on how to get babies to take great naps and more importantly how to get them to sleep through the night. I was told what to do and what not to do. And more often than not, I agreed with people even when I knew I would be different. This should have been my first clue that I would end up where I am at today.
I was unemployed in the months leading up to T’s birth. This gave me A LOT of time to read and research what I thought would be best for my family. For starters, she was going to sleep with us. No one in my life agreed with this. Some said it, some didn’t, but I know everyone thought the same thing. That we would sleep much better if she was in her own room and so would she. We tried it, she hated it, so did we, she will be with us until the summer (in her crib, in our rom). It works for us. And I don’t tell anyone. Although I felt supported about my decision to breastfeed, at the first sign of trouble all I heard was ‘pump and give her a bottle’. That is the last thing you should do when you’re trying to teach a newborn to latch. Finally after 6 exhausting, painful weeks we got the hang of it. I was so proud that I had stuck with it and not given up, then I started getting the ‘when are you thinking about stopping?’. It will be a while I promise, but I don’t say that. “You vaccinated?” Yep. “You honestly use bumpers?” I do. Short simple answers with no explanation.
I could easily blame myself for not defending our decisions as parents and in the beginning I did. But as time has gone on, I have gotten sick of the looks, the slight eye rolls and the constant need to defend myself. I don’t talk about what we have chosen for T anymore. That I will breastfeed until she weans. That she will NEVER cry it out. I vaccinated because watching a child go through whooping cough is horrid. I baby carry because we both love it. I meet every one of her needs, on HER time and will do so until she is old enough to understand to wait. I will make my own baby food. I understand that it takes time, but for me, for her, it’s worth it. I do realize how crunchy and granola yet mainstream I am but it’s what works for us.
This is why I say I parent in hiding. It’s easier to just say nothing, or to just agree than to try and explain my decisions. D feels the same way. We have made these decisions together and he trusts my research but most of all my instincts. Out of all the things I thought would surprise me as a new mom, this one stunned me the most. The lack of support we give each other as women and moms is astounding. The guilt we feel at times is overwhelming. I don’t let myself get depressed about this because that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about T and doing what is right for her. I know I am not the only mom that feels this way but we are quite to avoid the drama. It can get lonely not being able to talk about my life style, but I’m not going to change to fit what people think I should do. T is a very healthy, VERY happy baby, and that is all that matters!
I was unemployed in the months leading up to T’s birth. This gave me A LOT of time to read and research what I thought would be best for my family. For starters, she was going to sleep with us. No one in my life agreed with this. Some said it, some didn’t, but I know everyone thought the same thing. That we would sleep much better if she was in her own room and so would she. We tried it, she hated it, so did we, she will be with us until the summer (in her crib, in our rom). It works for us. And I don’t tell anyone. Although I felt supported about my decision to breastfeed, at the first sign of trouble all I heard was ‘pump and give her a bottle’. That is the last thing you should do when you’re trying to teach a newborn to latch. Finally after 6 exhausting, painful weeks we got the hang of it. I was so proud that I had stuck with it and not given up, then I started getting the ‘when are you thinking about stopping?’. It will be a while I promise, but I don’t say that. “You vaccinated?” Yep. “You honestly use bumpers?” I do. Short simple answers with no explanation.
I could easily blame myself for not defending our decisions as parents and in the beginning I did. But as time has gone on, I have gotten sick of the looks, the slight eye rolls and the constant need to defend myself. I don’t talk about what we have chosen for T anymore. That I will breastfeed until she weans. That she will NEVER cry it out. I vaccinated because watching a child go through whooping cough is horrid. I baby carry because we both love it. I meet every one of her needs, on HER time and will do so until she is old enough to understand to wait. I will make my own baby food. I understand that it takes time, but for me, for her, it’s worth it. I do realize how crunchy and granola yet mainstream I am but it’s what works for us.
This is why I say I parent in hiding. It’s easier to just say nothing, or to just agree than to try and explain my decisions. D feels the same way. We have made these decisions together and he trusts my research but most of all my instincts. Out of all the things I thought would surprise me as a new mom, this one stunned me the most. The lack of support we give each other as women and moms is astounding. The guilt we feel at times is overwhelming. I don’t let myself get depressed about this because that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about T and doing what is right for her. I know I am not the only mom that feels this way but we are quite to avoid the drama. It can get lonely not being able to talk about my life style, but I’m not going to change to fit what people think I should do. T is a very healthy, VERY happy baby, and that is all that matters!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
4x4
I hate the term ‘resolution’. It seems so harsh and final. So as 2010 was approaching, I was pondering my possible ‘resolutions’ for the coming year. I came to the conclusion that no endings were needed, no harsh rules to live by needed to be implemented, instead I am going to go with the ever boring ‘goals for 2010’. Ever since T was born, and I became a stay at home mom, I have been thinking of my lack of goals. Not that I was good at corporate America goals but still. So I have come up with 4 areas of my life I want to work on and given myself 4 goals per area. By writing these out, I will have to hold myself accountable to do and live better. NO SLACKING!
Area 1: Be a Connected Mommy
Goal 1> Tummy time, reading and play time… EVERY DAY.
Goal 2> Breast feed the whole year. Maybe longer. So far so good!
Goal 3> At 6 months I will make all of her food. A big task, probably bigger than I realize. I just need to know where her food is coming from.
Goal 4> Love it and be present every day. It’s so easy to get caught up in cleaning, cooking and planning that I forget to just be with her. I want to be connected to her every chance I get. The rest can wait!
Area 2: Be a Better Wife
Goal 1> More sex. I know… TMI. I’ll just stop here!
Goal 2> Have stuff to talk about besides diaper blowouts, anything from people.com or the message boards on baby center. This means more MPR and cnn.com. Or if I really want to make him happy, espnsoccernet.
Goal 3> Be more active/have more fun. It’s easy to just plop in front of the t.v. to settle down for the night but my plan is to talk more, play more board games and go out more when the weather gets nicer.
Goal 4> Manage $$$... TOGETHER! It’s not a him thing or a me thing, we need to get our money situation under control and that will require a tag team effort!
Area 3: Become a Rock Star Woman
Goal 1> GRADUATE! Finally.
Goal 2> Loose and keep off 20 lbs. I know, so cliché but it needs t happen and if it takes all year, it takes all year. (I will miss you Oreos. We have been friends for so long I’m not quite sure raisins will adequately take your place)
Goal 3> Master my Camera! This one I am excited for. The camera as a 250 page book to maximize its potential and that arrives in the mail next week. D promised 3 nights of uninterrupted study/practice time. I can’t wait!
Goal 4> Read more. I sadly read nothing right now. Well, Oprah and Real Simple… does that count?
Area 4: House Guru Extraordinaire
Goal 1> Start stock piling/ couponing.
Goal 2> Cook one new meal a week. I have started this one already and I am actually starting to enjoy cooking. It makes me feel like a true housewife! A raging liberal feminist housewife!
Goal 3> (Keep) Organize my house! I have also started this one by reorganizing 2 closets and purging half my clothes (and some of D’s… hopefully he won’t notice). There are many sub goals in this category, too many to mention so I’ll just update as I go.
Goal 4> Plan every meal for every single day. It will save time and money in the long run. And will help me keep my cooking and organizing goals.
So here it is. My plan for 2010. My last and main goal is to realize that I don’t have to complete all of these perfectly. I will screw up. I will fall behind. I will suck at things and that is ok! I don’t always have to be perfect!
Area 1: Be a Connected Mommy
Goal 1> Tummy time, reading and play time… EVERY DAY.
Goal 2> Breast feed the whole year. Maybe longer. So far so good!
Goal 3> At 6 months I will make all of her food. A big task, probably bigger than I realize. I just need to know where her food is coming from.
Goal 4> Love it and be present every day. It’s so easy to get caught up in cleaning, cooking and planning that I forget to just be with her. I want to be connected to her every chance I get. The rest can wait!
Area 2: Be a Better Wife
Goal 1> More sex. I know… TMI. I’ll just stop here!
Goal 2> Have stuff to talk about besides diaper blowouts, anything from people.com or the message boards on baby center. This means more MPR and cnn.com. Or if I really want to make him happy, espnsoccernet.
Goal 3> Be more active/have more fun. It’s easy to just plop in front of the t.v. to settle down for the night but my plan is to talk more, play more board games and go out more when the weather gets nicer.
Goal 4> Manage $$$... TOGETHER! It’s not a him thing or a me thing, we need to get our money situation under control and that will require a tag team effort!
Area 3: Become a Rock Star Woman
Goal 1> GRADUATE! Finally.
Goal 2> Loose and keep off 20 lbs. I know, so cliché but it needs t happen and if it takes all year, it takes all year. (I will miss you Oreos. We have been friends for so long I’m not quite sure raisins will adequately take your place)
Goal 3> Master my Camera! This one I am excited for. The camera as a 250 page book to maximize its potential and that arrives in the mail next week. D promised 3 nights of uninterrupted study/practice time. I can’t wait!
Goal 4> Read more. I sadly read nothing right now. Well, Oprah and Real Simple… does that count?
Area 4: House Guru Extraordinaire
Goal 1> Start stock piling/ couponing.
Goal 2> Cook one new meal a week. I have started this one already and I am actually starting to enjoy cooking. It makes me feel like a true housewife! A raging liberal feminist housewife!
Goal 3> (Keep) Organize my house! I have also started this one by reorganizing 2 closets and purging half my clothes (and some of D’s… hopefully he won’t notice). There are many sub goals in this category, too many to mention so I’ll just update as I go.
Goal 4> Plan every meal for every single day. It will save time and money in the long run. And will help me keep my cooking and organizing goals.
So here it is. My plan for 2010. My last and main goal is to realize that I don’t have to complete all of these perfectly. I will screw up. I will fall behind. I will suck at things and that is ok! I don’t always have to be perfect!
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